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Blahg

Having recently found out that I need $14,000 worth of dental work I couldn't think of a more fitting expression.  Unfortunately it also sucks because I can't (a) buy new furniture, (b) get a second computer -- which my son really needs for school, (c) basically do anything fun for a long time.  I should count my blessings having been bulmic for so many years that's the price I have to pay.  I was told that for someone with an eating disorder my teeth are actually in better shape -- than most.  My (ha) raise didn't amount to much.  A stinking $22 bucks a week after taxes.  My old boss who retired but has still been coming in two or three days a week giving me grief was my most ardent supporter.  Had he stayed I could have definitly lobbied for a bigger raise.  Bad enough I had to wait a year and a half for busting my butt.  People might say I'm lucky to have a job.  Luck has nothing to do with it.  I'm the first one there in the morning (ask anyone who knows me if I've ever gotten to work on "time" much less at 8:30 every morning, don't walk out at 4:30 on the dot if my boss is in the middle of a project, actually was the first one to come in a weekend and I have co-workers who do nothing but make personal phone calls and play on Facebook all day.   I would immediately fire both of the so called "mail room/copying" crew as they basically do nothing and you have to beg to get them to do their jobs.  Of course they'll never be fired because they will pull out the "race card".  Hey I don't give a rats ass what color your skin is if you don't pull your weight you should be the effing hell out of there.  I've actually told my boss that if he wants them to make copies he'd better ask them because I don't want to go through grief.  He tells me to "work with "Darryl"*.  Yeah "working" with Darryl means he says he's too busy to do it (while he plays computer games) and I wind up doing it.    So folks the only people who are "lucky" to have their jobs are the lazy fuck off's in my office who do whatever the hell they want and get away with it. 

*that not be his real name

Blahg

Sitting at work which I hate, thinking about the $14,000 worth of dental work I have to do which I don't have and I hate, the disappointment of a man I married and the fact that I have been paying for Weight Watchers for  a year and haven't gone.  All things I can control you say.  I feel like I'm buried under an avalanche!

Blahg

Your boss came over to me and asked me to do something.  When I looked for it I couldn't find it in your fucked up disorganized files.  I don't get it -- you never proofread, you spend endless hours doing your own personal crap but you whine and moan that you are so overworked.  Maybe if you stopped hanging out with your friend -- the receptionist who is late ever day -- you'd get all your work done.  Again, stupid me offered to help you.  I realize that you are jealous of me.  Notice I didn't use the word envious (I know you're not smart enough to know the difference). I am smarter than you.  I get things done much more efficiently than you, I'm better at what I do than you are and you hate it.  I wish they would fire your sorry ass out of here but you've been here for over 10 years and they'd just try and dump your administrative shit on me and then I'd have to quit.  Then maybe if I had your job I could do a minimum of stuff and bitch and moan all day!

Blahg

1.  I will never offer to help you with anything again.  You are ungrateful and lazy.  You carry on how overworked you are but I see you spending plenty of time on the phone, shopping on internet, hanging out in your BFF’s work area.  

2.  I will try not to laugh too loud when your boss catches you doing nothing and calls you out on the carpet.  Of course you will whine to us how you are the only one who gets picked on.

3.  If you’re sick stay home.  I don’t want whatever plague you have been walking around with.  Use your damn sick days, I know you have them.  If I catch your bug then you should give me YOUR sick time.

Sincerely,

Me

Blahg

Why are they so stupid around here?  Why do they let the same people come in late, do no work and collect a paycheck?  I’m dumbfounded.  If it were up to me I would make them tow the line or fire their asses out of here. Oh I wish.

Blahg

So my boss comes into my office and says it’s [some attorney’s] birthday today just in case you wanted to know. And I said “it’s my birthday next week in case anyone wants to know.”  Granted I won’t be here, I will be away but I gave my boss a present and a card.  Do I expect anything in return – no I don’t although it would be nice if I got my fucking raise already – but does he really think I care about x’s birthday when she’s never done anything for me.  I mean we’re surface friendly always talking about our cats but why in heaven’s name would I care, much less want to celebrate when she was born.  I am so happy I’m going away next week.  If I were a thermometer my mercury would burst!

Blahg

L is listening to the sound of his own voice.  He loves to hear it.  That’s not uncommon when you work for attorneys.  They drone on and on thinking they are spewing some brilliant dialogue and it’s mostly drivel.  But you nod your head and pretend to be fascinated because they are signing your paycheck.  People over they years have said to me “You’re so smart, why don’t you become a lawyer?”  My answer usually is “I’m not bitchy/arrogant enough.”  I also have a good command of the English language and don’t talk out of my asshole.

Blahg

I guess I’m the only one in this office who shows up on time.  What amazes me day after day is that the receptionist comes in 10-15 minutes late everyday and she still has a job.  Isn’t your receptionist supposed to be – well important in a law firm?  Most of the time she also looks like she just rolled out of bed with her lumpy sweats and fat ass and shirt with rolls of fat. What a wonderful sight for clients.  The thing is that when she’s not on a personal phone call or looking on her Facebook page she’s good at her job.  I know from experience that finding a receptionist who can walk and chew gum at the same time is hard.  But I would think the economy being what it is there would be someone out there who could actually show up on time and not dress like they are going out grocery shopping.  Meanwhile one of my bosses left.  I knew it was going to happen when four months ago he lost his biggest (and only) client.  Not that this guy needs to work he’s filthy rich and tighter with his money than a vise.  So, I’ve been scrambling for work to look busy.  Pretty funny because I used to be so busy that both bosses would scream at one another and compete for my attention.  I flat out asked my boss if my other bosses retiring was going to affect me.  Someone actually told me I should “wait and see” what happens.  Yeah right with a roof to keep over my head – I think not.  He said that they weren’t thinking that way.  Bottom line is that they need me.  Bottom line is that I’m 10 times better than the other person who is in here.  Of course in my years of experience better doesn’t mean squat – whose ass you kiss does.  Yeah my life would be (and have been) easier if I were a suck up. I do not have the suck up gene nor has it been nurtured.