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Blahg

Glad to know I still have some friends out there.

Blahg

I guess I'm not as friendless as I thought.  There are people who care.  Part of my problem is that I never tell anyone I need them.  It's hard for me because almost all my life I've been the giver -- of time, money (for the few moments I had any), advice and never ask for it back because it's easier to do it myself. 

Ms. A.shi* gave me a big apology not even realizing that she forgot etc.  But I'm beginning to realize that maybe just maybe I still feel like I'm like a spare tire in a trunk.  I hate to say this but I think I need to go back to my church.  The place where I found massive doses of sanity. I'm surely not finding much anywhere else. (No not my "friends" church heaven forbid but one with no hidden agenda.) 

Blahg

Goody goody J* forgot I was supposed to see him tonight.  Sometimes he's a bit much.  Okay most of the time.  I adore him and he's bailed me out of many a jam but most of the time I feel obligated and can't seem to shake that feeling.  After I let A* have it in an e-mail where I told her that I felt she blew me off one time too many and that she was on an ego trip concerning her website (which she is) she e-mailed me and wanted to discuss it like adults.  She said she would call me that night and didn't.  She got my cell the next morning and fortunately I was still sleeping.  I had to go into work and she caught me off guard when she called again and I said "I'm at work can I call you later" and she begrudginly agreed.  Then I e-mailed her and said I was really at work (I don't usually work on Fridays but I came in because one of my bosses is going away so I'll take Monday off which is fine with me as 1/2 the world will be off but most importantly my son).  And I never called her back.  And I suspect I won't "have" to kiss and make up till next week.  I still care about her a lot and as far as her ego goes God will hit her with His own 2x4 if she's out of line.  Unfortunately He'll hit me with a 2x4 if I'm out of line which isn't a bad thing.

Feel relaxed.  Got my POTO writing done.  It's gratifying even though the writing is cheesy it forces me to write and there are 10 other people across the globe waiting for my part.   And ho ho ho I get to see POTO again on November 9th by myself.  My son thought he was going again as he wrote a note next to our POTO tile in the bathroom to which I wrote "sorry Bub just mom."  Won't that be fun.  Going to my favorite show, in the best seat I've ever had with no one!  When I was growing up I always went to museums myself.  As I got older I went to movies myself.  I enjoy going out to eat by myself.  The bottom line is that sometimes I would rather just be myself and not have to (a) worry about someone else's enjoyment and (b) have the experience all to myself. 

Blahg

Guess I have to make up with you know who.  God got me with a 2x4.  Spent the last two days trying to "fix" my computer.  At first the t.v. shows that I bought off of itunes (and couldn't afford) wouldn't load and kept saying that the disk was full and I needed to empty my recycle bin.  Ha.  I had to take off several programs.  It was a hit and miss because at 3:00 a.m. yesterday morning I was on the phone with "Felix" from Microsoft.  I tried to reinstall windows only to need some activation code.  Got that running and for the longest time itunes wouldn't load kept giving me some error message.  So I went onto the itunes support and searched for my "problem" only to come up with some solutions that didn't work.  If I was one to pull out my hair I'd be bald about now.  So now I've deleted Photoshop, Word Perfect and the entire Dell Media center which means if I want to burn a CD I'll eventually have to re-load that software and take off I don't know what.  Chit never thought I'd need more memory on this computer.  Does anyone want to buy me more memory?  Oh and to add insult to injury the ipod that I got a wonderful deal on in July is naturally an "old" model now with less memory than the new one which is cheaper and of course has more memory.  Oh yeah on top of everything else I couldn't save my itunes library and had to re-upload all the crap I "bought" but it won't take the stuff off my ipod and make a new library which means I'm stuck with some songs on the darn thing whether I want them or not. 

Oh yeah my point if this ain't a divine 2x4 I don't know what is.  It's not that I don't "like" her I just think she was being an arrogant self-righteous horses ass. 

Blahg

When I bought this computer I smugly thought I'd never run out of memory.  I can't even download all the stuff from itunes because I keep getting a low memory message.  For the past three days I've removed, reinstalled done just about everything to frustrate the hell out of myself.  Finally I gave in today and ordered a new memory card.  I swear my electronics have cost me more than raising my son!

Blahg

Guess I should be sad that I'm not invited to your parties anymore.  NOT.

Blahg

I'm writing this from the courthouse.  I'm on my second day of jury duty.  Why not get out of it I was asked.  I mean I could say that I have a young child at home (even though he thinks he's an adult), I'm the only employee in my place of business (and work for attorneys no less).  I have tons of legitimate reasons and shucks Friday is my day off.  I've been up earlier the past two days than I've had to be in six months.  This is a longer "work day."

But the bottom line is that while people bitch and moan that they have to serve it's our justice system.  And no matter how flawed it is we are entitled to a trial by a jury of our peers.  It makes me glad that we don't live in a dictatorship.  It makes me glad that we live in a country with such great freedom.  I know a lot of people take it for granted. 

I remember being in church one day (too long ago unfortunately) and saying a prayer of thanks that we live in a country where we can worship freely.  A lot of people, again, take religious freedom for granted.  So my suggestion for anyone who bitches and moans the next time they have jury duty remember. We can't have a jury of our peers if all of our peers are looking for excuses not to serve.