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Blahg

I feel like absolute hell.  I had to take generic Prozac for two days till they got things straightened out with my insurance.  It's good but bad being at the mercy of the State.  All I know is I feel awful, tired, unhappy, lousy.  And my "new" doctor is making me go back to a shrink because he wants someone to monitor my medication.  Yeah sure, I'll sit and stare at the wall for an hour.  I mean it works, plain and simple.  The f****ing new doctor said something like gee the doctor might want to decrease my my meds.  Well asshole it took enough time to get me to a dose that works. 

Why aren't the colors working on this site?  Now if only my damn boss would get it through his head that I'm not mathematically inclined and if he just did that one bill a month himself he could do his damn rations in five minutes instead of torturing me.

Blahg

I wonder if we'll ever speak again.  I'm not crying uncle yet.

Right now I'm so happy I could die.  And die happy.  If you could have your arms around me for the rest of my life I'd never ask for another thing.  Okay if I could even have one hug a day from you I would melt, I would be a better person.  You are gorgeous inside and out.  I'm in love.  Never thought I would say this but I'm off to bed so I can see you in my dreams.

Cotton candy.  That's what this color reminds me of.

Was it only in my dreams that I turned around and put my arms around you.  Holding you was pure magic.  I'm still not waking up.  But I'd better stop sounding like a babbling idiot around my husband about how much I "admire" you.  My friends know otherwise -- how giddy, how smitten I am.  Hee hee hee to be 14 again and remembering when C* kissed me.  When I think about it you look very much like him.  Sigh.

Blahg

Being a diplomat means you mentally curse the person out and then act as sweet as sugar.  Stupid, dumb, arrongant little snot.

Blahg

I am in such a bad mood.  The short version. I was eating the other night (nothing fun) and I bit down on something.  The next thing I knew was that my tooth was a just a wee bit sensitve.  Translation:  It hurt like hell.  Went to the dentist yesterday who told me it has to come out.  So tomorrow I see the oral surgeon.  The antibiotics she gave me have been making me deathly ill so I've had more time in the bathroom than I would like and not to catch up on my reading either.  Just worship to of the porcelain throne.  The painkillers made me tired and irritable.  Tomorrow night it should be all over -- hopefully -- and then I'll stop wanting to bite everyone's head off (exept for my son and K* the two bright lights in my life--manage to bring out the best in me at all times.  Okay my son doesn't always bring out the best in me because he knows how to push my buttons since we are so much alike and can irritate the living daylights out of me.  Like tonight when he was pitching a hissy fit because I wouldn't get off the couch and let him lie down.  So he finally put the quilt on the floor with a pillow.  I missed pizza night with everyone.  Hey anybody want to share a cold pepperoni individual pizza. The last time I reheated it it was reduced to charcoal.  See charcoal is not good for the teeth.  I've also been pissy because I was forced to drop out of one of my POTO RPG's because the "author" was a snotty kid who could use a good spanking and couldn't write for sh*t even though everyone said what a good writer she was -- please.    Ha ha my husband is eating a bowl of cereal standing up in the kitchen.  Probably afraid of my wrath.  He'll be around shortly when he goes on his computer (right now situated near mine because even thoug I have a notebook I don't move it anywhere.  So much for buying it so I could take it outside and write under a tree.  Oh yeah all my plans for writing--yeah right)  He either ask me how to spell something or coax the computer into submission because he pressed the wrong button.  In 15 minutes I L&O will stop taping.  And I'll stuff myself with pizza (I can use the left side of my mouth) and immese myself in t.v.  I have to go to work for two hours tomorrow.  Fortunately it's for my real job where alertness and brain power isn't required.  Although I had to laugh when I first told one of my bosses that I had to go for oral suregery tomorrow and he said couldn't I do it on Friday (my day off because he has a lot of work to do.  Translation he has an hour's worth of work and if he just gave it to me and let me do it it wouldn't take five hours -- today our tons of work was three documents which he stretched out over five hours and if he had just given me the stuff it would have been completed in an hour.  NO IT CAN'T WAIT TILL FRIDAY.  READ MY LIPS AS MUCH AS THEY CAN MOVE WITHOUT USING THE LEFT SIDE OF MY MOUTH -- IT'S AN EMERGENCY AND THURSDAY AFTERNOON IS IT.  I confess though that the two guys I work for are really okay.  Their only thing is that I'm physically there even if I spend most of my time playing Upwords or stuff on Pogo.  K* honey I'll call you tomorrow if I can talk (or if not the next day).  I am thinking of you but I'm so totally useless to everyone right now. But I want to be there for you.  So if you happen to drop by this rant fest know I love and care about you.  

Hubby just rubbed my back for a while.  I'm off to eat my pizza and watch t.v.  I'm giving in and popping a couple of vicodin.  They'll knock me out anyway.

Blahg

The oral surgeon had the chairside manner of a jackal.  What a schumck.  Then they gave me this form to sign with all the things which could go wrong.  I didn't want to sign it either.  Broken jaw etc. etc.  He did nothing to calm my nerves and when he asked me the stupid question do I take Motrin for the pain I said NO.  He begrudgingly gave me a prescription for 10 (ten) tyelenol-3.  Yeah as if they'll do anything.  And I beg to differ that it's the same thing as vicodin.  Thank goodness I have a few of them left.  Meanwhile I'm sitting here with gauze in my mouth which keeps getting saturated with blood and I have an ice pack on my face 15 minutes on 15 minutes off.  I'm so glad I have the place to myself right now.  The guys went out.  I love the peace and quiet.  I wish they'd stay out for a while .  It's on these occasions I wish I lived alone.  Or at least had a much bigger place, so I could be several rooms away.  Time to change my ice bag.  Happy happy joy joy.