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Blahg

Guess I now know which pants are my skinny pants.  Shit these are so tight I feel like a fat pig!

Blahg

Sore throat - check

Fatigue - check

Bored out of Gourd - check

Headache - check

Fog from Ambien cloud - check

Just got into work - check

Can't wait to leave - check

Blahg

I'm sneezing my effing head off, my nose is running, I have a sore throat so I go downstairs to Duane Reade (our local ripoff drugstore which has eaten up more individual mom and pop pharmacies than pac man monsters) to buy some Lotradine (generic Claratin -- one thing that doesn't make me fall asleep) and some Zicam (to ward it off it its'a cold) I don't know what's in that stuff but it really works.  So the woman behind the register asks me "And how are you today?" And I said "Actually I feel like hell" and I start to explain why only to realize she isn't even looking at me.  I wonder is it that she wasn't interested (probably) or no one has ever answered her truthfully and she didn't know what to say.

It reminded me of when I was out with a friend a few years ago.  He was munching on a cheeseburger in some overpriced place and the wait person came over and said "How is your food" and my friend said "Actually it tastes like shit, thank you."  I'm not sure what the response was as by that point I was hiding under the table.

On a different note I asked my son is he was going to be giving me grief or aggravation for mothers day.  He said "Both!" Gotta love the kid even if he's mine.

Blahg

I have become a closet Rachel Ray fan...what's next be afraid -- very afraid.

Blahg

The only reason I never got rid of that e-mail address ... I keep hoping you'll write ... after all these years ... why I don't know.

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I heard on the news today that they have found that Viagra is effective in curing jet lag.  Can you just see the advertisements?  "The Friendlier Skies," "Jet Bluer"?  Can you imagine what the security checks will be like?

Blahg

Last week at this time I was in a hospital bed trying to sleep in vain -- hooked up to a portable heart monitor.  My "roomate" was making noises which sounded like a herd of elephants and the man down the hall kept on saying "operator -- please -- operator" none of the young nurses cracked a smile when I said something about Jerry Garcia.  To backtrack last a week ago Monday I had a sleepless night.  I felt awful.  By 7:30 a.m. I had tightness in my chest, felt nauseous and my left arm was numb.  As I'm 50 with high blood pressure and overweight I'd say high risk for a heart attack.  I told my husband to call an ambulance.  The entire experience was surreal.  Meanwhile my nine year old son was asking me if he should feed the fish.  The EMT's were cool guys.  As one of them was hooking me to up to the IV he said "just want you to know this is the first IV I've ever put in".  Funny guy as he was hooking me up with oxygen, baby asprin and nitro glycerin.  They got me to the emergency room where I was hooked up to a heart monitor a really annoying thing because if you unhooked it to take a pee it would go off with a loud annoying noise.  The problem being that three of them were going off at all times and the emergency room staff was oblivious to it all.  The mosquitoes kept on taking blood from me and a nurse from hell came over with a big needle which I thought she was going to put in my iv.  She jabbed the sucker into my stomach.  As I said to the doctors later -- I've had five knee surgeries, six tattoos and gave birth "naturally" and this hurt more.  I still have the bruise a week later.  After 10 hours they admitted me for observation.  The cardiac ward/looney bin.  On top of everything else my bed moved by itself.  I'm not kidding raising and lowering when it felt like it.  After a sleepless night and no food or water because I was having a stress test they finally got me out of the room for tests.  I have never felt so skanky in all my life having no shower in the past 24 hours -- yuck.  The tests were interesting.  I had an echo doppler or something like that and I got to see what my heart looks like.  So if anyone ever accuses me of not having one I saw it beating.  Then I was injected with some dye and put under some huge contraption camera like thing (a MRI of my heart).  Then they put me on a treadmill and who walked in but my best friend in the world.  She tracked me down in the hospital.  My buddy -- alter ego person who is as sick as I am.  It felt good to laugh.  After all the tests we went back to my room where we waited for 7 more hours.  I thought they were going to let me out of there and she kept on feeding the meter and couldn't find anywhere else to put the car.  DAMN THIS SOUNDS SO DULL.  I just wanted to get it on paper.  Anyway the bottom line is that I am now on five medications -- blood pressure, beta blockers etc. and I have to say I'm walking every day and watching what I eat. Since I found out my heart is in good shape I consider it a gift from God.  I mean half my life as a bulimic I expected that it all caught up with me.  The blood pressure medicine makes me pee constantly.  But the good news is that when I'm down to a healthy weight I will be able to stop taking all this stuff.  I guess you call this a wake up call.

I knew I had the will to live when I was in the hospital bed and I was thinking I don't care what they have to do I have to be out by Friday because I have a front row seat to POTO and I'm going if they have to bring me in on a stretcher.  The show was awesome.  New Phantom.  Got to talk with the conductor of the orchestra afterwards (since I was sitting behind him) telling him how much joy the show (and music has brought me).  All POTO people are so humble when you compliment them.  I can't wait till August 3rd -- my birthday.  I'm taking my husband and son to see it.  My husband has ever seen it and my son has seen it once.  My son who I call the Phantom because he knows all the music and was the cutest Phantom for halloween.  Sorry if this doesn't make any sense but no one ever won a Pulitzer for a blog.