October 30th, 2007
Pity Party
I don't feel any better than I did hours ago. Today was hell sitting up front at the moron desk without a computer and bad lighting. Really it's like a cave without the sense of adventure. Thank God I didn't have to answer the phone because the numb nutz receptionist never showed me how -- like I'd want her job -- I've answered enough fucking phones in my life for another lifetime. My last maniac boss -- the one who had seven secretaries in a year -- I was number eight -- had constant ringing phones which I had to answer constantly. In addition he couldn't hear out of one year and he yelled and I had to let him know who was on the phone all the time by jumping up and passing him notes. I digress but who cares. So I sent faxes and people came by and fed me and gave me water. So I spent the entire day dwelling on my bad points, how I haven't been to karate in weeks and am getting fat again -- as I've either been shitting or puking from my anti-depressants which haven't kicked in yet. I can't believe that I felt this bad all the time at one point in my life. I'm also scared that my meds might not work as I was stupid enough to go off them for something "better". Chit maybe it's finally menopause.
Took a break from my whining. Ate something. Don't feel any better.
