May 13th, 2008
Days Gone By
Not only was I interesting, I was funny, creative and sounded like I was going somewhere. How has my life become awful? First of all I need to go back to work. I suspect I'll wind up back in a stupid office because I don't have any other skill which would pay me a living wage and I'm sick of being poor and I owe money up the wazoo. I can't depend on my husband for anything and it's about time I fooled myself into thinking I could. At least his ex could use substance abuse as an excuse to dump him. Frankly, I would have used the fucked up made up name he gave his son -- but then again she agreed to that stupidity. I can't pull the substance abuse trump card because he quit smoking years ago and said I could give him a drug test anytime. So without drugs he's still has no ambition. Why is it always up to me? If I had it to do over I would have stayed in school, gotten a decent education (although from what I see it might not have helped me) and never waited for someone else to take care of me. I've always been the one who takes care of everyone and everything. I can only blame so much on my husband.
