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Blahg

Today I'm 52 years old although my son says I won't be 52 until 7:33 in the evening.  And if my mother were speaking to me she'd remind me for the 1,957 th time how long she was in labor with me.  This year I've been ignored by almost everyone except one of my few real friends on earth.  Funny because we've never met, hardly ever talk, but there is something about her that makes he cherish her and love her and I've actually told her she could sleep on my lumpy couch if she wants to visit and I've never extended that invitation to anyone.  I have to hand it to my husband's ex wife in that regard because she actually allowed my husband's parents to stay with them in their tiny apartment for weeks.  I never met either one of them -- my mother in law and I were close in that we wrote and talked on the phone.  Two weeks before I was supposed to meet her she died.  And truth to tell I actually told her once when she was alive that she could stay here which probably would have made me hate her forever.  So I'm honest folks, I live in a small space which is crowded enough by my husband's and son's crap.  I don't count my own because I pay the rent.  What I'd love is to get rid of 98% percent of the crap (I threaten to hire someone with a truck and dump my husband's stuff when he isn't around) in this place, paint it and get some decent furniture.  Right now I have to concentrate on paying the rent hike that goes into effect now and my electric bill which has reached the triple digits since I've had to run the a/c ever since the mercury rose.  And tomorrow I will go back to work and have the day from hell because I have to tackle my bosses' billing full time for the first time.  (True my co-worker will give me pointers but it will be in my hands.  The person who should be doing it sits on his lazy ass in the mailroom all day reading the newspaper and pretending to work while his co-worker who is 10x nicer than is he will do all his work.  There's always at least one in every office. On the working front I have the reputation of being a hard worker not only from my bosses but from the watercooler crowd if there was one.  Translation:  the receptionst said she's never heard anything negative about me that people KNOW WHEN I'M IN MY OFFICE I'M DOING MY WORK as did my boss when he came in the other day to tell me (as I turned redder than the cherries I've been stuffing my face with all summer) that I didn't have to put the picture of my kid back on teh screen when he walks in and I'm checking my e-mail because he and my other boss are very HAPPY AND KNOW THAT I'M GETTING ALL MY WORK DONE.  As I've said before with all my other shortcomings (my mother calls them insanties -- yeah mom I wonder what part of the gene pool gave me that -- oh yeah both of you) when it comes to work I have a VERY STRONG work ethic.  And I'm always on time which is amazing since I have to be in there at 8:30 every morning and I never even used to get up that early to go to the bathroom.  So now sitting with the a/c blasting on me, watching a Lifetime Movie (comon folks we all like them).  I need to go out and play my numbers because as usually on a Sunday a double digit (not the one I picked thank goodness) came out.  Do I take myself to celebrate since my husband is trying to earn some money today which will not doubt be spent on something useful like groceries.  My son went to the park with him so I could have the day to myself (translation:  my son knew I wasn't going to do anything exciting today) so he went to the park with his father.)  Should I got out and eat.  I'm not hungry and don't even feel like anything exotic.  (Take my temperature folks!)  I will be receiving my present two weeks or so from now an autographed cookbook from Gordon Ramsay himself.  I special ordered it on his website and one of his employees is actually going to relay the message to him that I think he's a wonderful chef, husand and father (and not hard on the eyes which I know his lovely wife whom I also adore hears that all the time) and my son keeps on saying what will if you do if Gordon Ramsay calls you"  Faint.  I who grew up among "celebrity" and never get flustered -- or impressed -- by anyone -- I swoon like a wilted honeysuckle when I see that tall, hunk of sexy passion with his uk accent -- so I'm not sure I'd be able to say a thing but stare -- if he was on the phone clear my throat a lot and/or giggle...yeesh.  I want to go out and try to find a winning number and find some cherries but don't want to go out in the heat.