tabulas.com

Blahg

Every night when I get home from work I look forward to my Gordo time.  Gordo is my cat -- short for Gordon.  He is the first live stuffed animal I've ever had as the minute I get home he settles down on my arm until he has to be surgically removed when I have to do something.  I have never gotten over leaving my cat behind -- in the hands of that fucking bastard my ex husband.  Besides being abusive to me he was jealous of my cat.  He beat him up on more than one occasion (beat up all the animals for that matter).  He couldn't stand the fact that the cat would want to sit on my chest and purr while we watched t.v.  My ex actually said to me once "Do we have to have HIM in here?"  I put up with that bastards abuse for 12 years and two weeks before I turned 40 I left him for good (if you've heard this story than skip this part).  The only thing I regretted is that I had to leave myc at behind.  And one of the few things I asked for hin the divorce agreement was to keep my cat for six months along with my belongings until I found a place to live.  I had gone to stay with my parents who had two cats which is why I had to leave my cat behind.  Well even before six months the bastard threw away almost all my possessions -- my clothes, my photos, my artwork anything I had that was relevant to the first 40 years of my life.  No, I didn't haul his ass into court for the same reason that I never asked anything from him except for my freedom.  I never forgave myself for leaving the cat behind -- not knowing his fate -- only not trying to imagine what my ex did to him.  I'm sorry Nonie, I still cry over the fact that I had to do what I did but I feared for my life.  I guess this is the main reason why I resisted having a cat again after all these years.  The fur, the small apartment, the terrace were all arguments I believed myself. Until three months ago when Gordon and Aubergine (his sister) came into my life.  Auby is a sweet cat but she spends more time with my son.  Actually, she's one of the sweetest cats I've ever had because my son still has yet to realize that she's not a basketball or a pretzel and he loves her just the same.  But Gordy.  He's my cat.  My son will actually tell me that he's crying for me and I'll say it's nonsense and then my son will plop him down on my lap and he'll settle down whereever he can and fall asleep.  I love the fact that he loves to sleep on my arm every chance he gets.  (Sometimes cutting off the circulation in my arm.  When I move him to another part of my body he goes right back to sleep.)  When he was tiny I remember he would fall asleep on my (as would Aubergine) and I would say to my husband I wonder if he'll still do that when he's bigger.  Well, he's 4x the size now and he hasn't stopped.  I hope he never does.