So today you’re the best of friends and I’m the outsider. Do you both realize how much you talk about the other one behind their backs when they aren’t here and it’s NOT complementary. But since you are best friends this week you are hanging out together and planning stuff and and and..,.well next week you’ll be pissed off at one another and will like me again.
You don't deserve him. And how dare he fall in love with you. You greedy, scheming fuck. I never wish people ill will but I hope he wakes up and realizes what a phony you are!
Oh and have I said what a fucking bitch you are. Thank goodness I never told you where my real blog was. You'd be in for a rude awakening. Although maybe there are other people who think the same way. Can't wait till the bloom is off the rose then you'll suddenly want my friendship. Gee can't wait to ignore you.
You have some nerve asking me to review your (self published) book on Amazon. True at the time I thought you were a gifted poet but you and your fucking “fiancé” have pissed me off so much I’m not even going to answer you. You said hope I’m doing well like you fucking care. If you asked your significant the last time she graced me with an acknowledgment she knew I wasn’t doing well. I’m angry but glad to be rid of the both of you. You deserve each other.
So you’ve posted your new photos with your “honey”. I have to say it but you’re as homely as my husband’s ex wife. Didn’t think it was possible. Except you even look worse because you’re lumpy and dumpy. And your “sweetie” the old objection of my imagined affection “yuck” with his scraggly beard and pot belly.
The bottom line is I’m really angry with myself. Angry for trusting you. Angry that I spent my hard earned money sending you flowers and a “friendship” teddy bear on your birthday. I don’t share myself easily. I thought you were a “real” friend. After all you first reached out to me. It makes me realize that I need more friends. I’ve met so few people who “get” me. The last person was a man I fell in love with over the internet before it was fashionable to do so. He even came to see me. But we both decided (he more than me) that he couldn’t do that to his 11 year old daughter. My son was only two so he wouldn’t have known the difference. His wife and my husband weren’t on the same wave length and we were. I wonder what it’s like to have a man like that full time.
So shithead and significant other this is the last post I will ever write mentioning either one of you. You don’t deserve the time of day.
Our receptionist is late every single day. She’s supposed to be here by 9 but usually strolls in about 15 after. I don’t understand management. She almost always looks like shit also. Dresses like a frump, no make up (although she’s constantly buying it), constantly on the phone, playing computer games and they keep her no less. I don’t get it. I really don’t. Although I’ve seen so many offices mismanaged in the past this shouldn’t surprise me. I wish they’d fire her. Then I wouldn’t have to hear the constant chatter between her and her so called best friend the other secretary. Till of course she’s out sick which is often and her so called best friend talks about her. I wonder what they say about me. On second thought I don’t want to know.
They are playing from the Halls of Montezuma on bagpipes. Our receptionist says she likes the bagpipes (it figures). They might be nice for five minutes but not an hour of incessant whining. The St. Patrick’s Day Parade an excuse for the masses to get drunk before 12:00 p.m. I hate being in midtown. And the following parody keeps on running through my mind over and over and over and over again:
From the hills of our petunia beds
To the crabgrass on our lawn
We will fight them off with chemicals
Till the bugs and weeds are gone
We will use quarts and quarts
Of poison spray and we won’t stop till we’re through
All the bugs and weeds are dying now
But the plants and trees are too
Meanwhile Ms. Dumpy Frumpy Bitch has on her My Loser page how she wants to go back to New York. I have to laugh because where she was in “New York” is like saying you went to the White House when you only got as far as Virginia. (Granted “upstate” New York is beautiful but it’s not New York City as in Empire State Building, Statue of Liberty, touristy, noisy.) Okay I’m still so fucking angry. I hope when the relationship goes sour she has no one to talk to. She deserves all the worst.
Could it be I'm still envious? I know I've gone over and over about this and I guess this must be the canvas I paint for working through it but I can't understand how HE chose HER. I know why SHE chose HIM. There really is no accounting for taste. Again, look at hubby's ex wife. I thought and still think she was/is one of the homliest women on the planet but SHE could give the ex a run for her money. I suspect this crap was sparked by the fact that she, yet again, sent me an e-mail last night and stupid me responded. Am I that hard up?
There are some people in the world who should not announce to the world they just had sex. The throught is so gross -- especially before lunch.
You rejected me without even givingi me a chance. You never led me on but seduced from from afar. Soem say it was unintentional. And you, you played with my hear and emotions ever worse. Got me to come out of my self imposed exile, lured me out with kindness and then stomped on me over and over again. I'll bet the both of you are proud. By now...dismissed me as a nut maybe. Just someone who cared. Someone who dared take a chance. Now you tout one another's praises. You the romantic -- you waste on a dumpy, ugly, phony like her -- maybe the romantic was never real if you could possibly "feel" it about her. Rub it in my face. My heart has so much salt in it it's picked. I wish you all the misery you deserve.
I stayed home from work today. I think I might have gotten food poisioning from our local dive or maybe all the emotion I've been trying to stuff down took its toll. I wear my heart on my sleeve. I've been trying to put a sweat shirt over it but the pesky thing keeps popping up over and over again. I've always found in the past that when I'm hurt, betrayed, angry I'm more creative so maybe some good will come out of this. But so far I'm not seeing the plus side. Maybe it's proven that I still have feelings, that I had feelings I didn't realize I have, sick of undeserving people getting what shouldn't come to them. And I still have to see it flaunted in my face.
Wanted: One genuine friend All weather, warped sense of humor and highly intelligent.
My kitty is sitting on my mouse pad. I love him so. Still holding my breath praying he won't need surgery.
When they start talking about American Idol that's my cue to leave.
Sometimes I feel so lonely. They are planning a big shindig in front of me. I had to leave the room and go back to work. I smiled and pretended I was fine and I had to go back to work. Truth of the matter is that I'm not fine and it's busy work that doesn't have to be done now.
Granted I don't have the history that they do but it would be so nice to be included. What's wrong with me. I wonder if the they both realize that when they had their big blow up and didn't talk for months and confided in me I told each one of them separately that they would make up and never said an unkind word about the other. It seems that I've fucked up royally in that no one wants to be my friend. I'm the one you confide in and get advice from because I can keep secrets -- kind of like the ugly stepsister. Reminds me of when I was in school. Never realized that it could hurt so much.
So I suggested some nice "free" stuff to use for invitations. And the "best buddy" who talks about her behind her back kept dismissing me. I guess she doesn't want me honing in on her territory. I mean I know the birthday girl always acts like the boyfriend being possessive, not letting her finish a story because she has to tell it. I thought this sick relationship was one sided. Yucch. Don't worry chickee I'll shut my mouth and thank my lucky stars I'm not involved. Of course maybe she thinks if she accepts any help from me she'll have to invite me. Not to worry - gag me with a spoon why don't you.
