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Blahg

My boss came into my office and eyed the color photo of Gordon Ramsay in his running shorts on the beach.  He said "hmm he used to be only on the other side (of my desk) now he's in both places" and your point is.  I have to say that I blushed.  I confess it feels good to blush, good to have a crush, good to feel giggly.  Problem is that I spend as much time defending Gordon as I do drooling over him.  For the record he's not the bastard he appears to be on Hell's Kitchen.  He's a wonderful dad and husband (if you watch the F Word and see him with his family you'll know what I'm talking about), gives a lot of time and money to charity.  He's tough in the kitchen because he wants perfection.  He has enough Michelin stars to make his own constellation.

I don't know if its the warm weather but I'm starting to feel good again. 

Blahg

Glad to know you're frustrated.  You could have had a good friend to comfort you and reassure you through this but you don't choose your friends wisely.

Blahg

Don't ask me why I did it.  Probably because deep down I don't want to be wrong.  We'll see.  This was my final effort.  I felt it was a cry for help.  If it wasn't well I'll write it off and leave it alone.

Blahg

It's so much easier not to be angry. 

Blahg

I feel like such an imposter.  Everyone is taking Good Friday off.  Good Friday a holiday I used to celebrate.  Yesterday was Palm Sunday. My husband brought home a palm frond he found in the park for the cats to play with.  I remember Palm Sundays past singing in the choir and waving palm fronds them – Hosannas everywhere.  The solemness of Good Friday and the program we put on and then Easter Sunday.  To greet someone and say “he has risen” and the reply “he has risen indeed”.  It hurt when I had to leave that church.  Hurt that things got so corrupt that the choir director and the pastor’s wife were sleeping together.  I so miss singing in a choir.  So miss my entire “church” life. I was a nicer, kinder person back then also.  What happened to her?

Blahg

Remember Charlie Brown and the football -- shit it happened again.  What the hell is wrong with me?

Blahg

I will never understand what you see in her.  Moving thousands of miles away from your home, she's dumpy, frumpy, ugly and a closet bitch.  You'll find out soon enough, you poor sap.