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Blahg

There is no such thing as a friend in the workplace.  You may hear the intimate details of your co-workers life on a daily basis but the bottom line is that given the chance same co-worker will stab you in the back.  It’s the nature of the beast.  I was suckered into thinking my co-workers were actually my friends.  I work with three other women (I know trouble already) and since day one we have all had lunch every day.   In the almost year I’ve been here I can count the times on one hand where we haven’t shared our lunch hour.  Not to mention all the other hanging out in-between we were like one happy family.

So when Monica was having a 50^th birthday bash, discussing it at length I thought for sure I would be part of the festivities.  At first she invited Daisy.  Now Daisy and she have been friends for 13 years.  (What Monica doesn’t know is how much Daisy badmouths her when she gets the chance.)  Now I fully understood at first when Monica said that she could only invite Daisy and no one else from “work” as she was keeping the party small.  No problem here.  But then I saw the party list and I noticed that she also invited Helen and her boyfriend.  Now Helen is our third lunch partner.  Again, Helen is the subject of much criticism by both Daisy and Monica but she’s always “included” in our lunches.

 I never would seen the party list had Monica not asked me to watch the phones while she chit chatted through the office.  (By the way she is the receptionist who comes in at least 10-20 minutes late every day and gets away with it).  There it was on a green post-it.  Plain as day was Helen and her boyfriend were listed as attendees

Before I left on Friday I went to Helen who confirmed same and couldn’t believe that Monica was that mean.  Helen even told Monica that if I was invited she would pick me up and take me there since she has a car and I don’t.  And how mean it was of Monica. 

Now it is Monday morning.  Daisy passed by me and said Good Morning then looked at me and asked if I was all right and I said nastily “sure why wouldn’t I be: an she said “okay in a nasty way”.  I’m just not good at the pretending thing.  I do wear my heart on my sleeve and it hurt big time. 

Is this supposed to be a good thing that I cried my eyes out to my husband and said I could call him anytime.  Damn it.

So I’ve eye drops in my eyes and tried to put on a happy face to others.  It’s hard.

Monica gave me a cheery hello, I said hello back and kept on walking.  I wish I was anywhere but here.

OMG Monica stopped me and gave me a “goody bag” form the party She said she “promised” me one.  Now when the shindig was going to be 50 people I understood that it could only be family and friends.  But when she narrowed it down to 19 and then invited Helen?!  God I’m so fucking confused.

An Hour Later:

So I just tried to make nice to Daisy and hate myself even more.  Then I went out to the reception area and Monica started pulling up the party pictures and started saying look at so and so.  So I made a hasty exit.  It hurt so much.  So big fucking deal you gave me a goody bag.  Do you think it’s any consolidation when you invited Helen and her boyfriend?  And do you know how much Daisy badmouths Monica on a regular basis.  Makes me glad that Daisy isn’t my BFF.