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la.lluvia

the longer i stay in this job, the more i realize that...this. is. NOT. for.me.

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Last saturday i attended the first day of a six week photography workshop. it's worth 8k but i'm in it for free. i'm thankful and all but...my camera and i are in a sort of "cool off" at the moment. before saturday, i havent even looked at my camera since my birthday (last September). yes, i'm lucky to be in this for free, with a great teacher and all, but i feel like it's being...i dunno. imposed on me. like im forced to LOVE LOVE LOVE photography but in reality, photography and I need to take a break, especially after the whole thesis thing.

i dunno. the more i think about it, the less enthusiastic i am about picking up my camera and shoot-shoot-shooting.

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I had/have asthma. I struck Sunday night and got worse yesterday. I had to buy a new inhaler. I didn't go to work today because of it. I missed two events today. and now have a pile of articles to do. and now. repeat the first line.

"the longer i stay in this job, the more i realize that...this. is. NOT. for. me."

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The longer i stay here(in the Philippines), the more i realize that all i want to do is just get out. England plans are seriously pushing through. no idea when yet....but soon. target: 2015. let me know if you want to go. 

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school is waaaaay more fun than the working world. the only good thing about it is that i get paid. not enough though. seriously. seriously.

la.lluvia

and this song reminds me of you...

You Really Gotta Hold On Me - She and Him

I don't like you but I love you
Seems that I'm always thinking of you
Oh ho ho, you treat me badly
I love you madly, you've really got a hold on me
You really got a hold on me
You really got a hold on me
You really got a hold on me

Baby, I don't want you but I need you
Don't want to kiss you but I need to
Oh ho ho, you do me wrong now
My love is strong now, you've really got a hold on me
You really got a hold on me
You really got a hold on me
You really got a hold on me

Baby, I love you and all I want you to do
Is just hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me
Tighter, tighter

I want to leave you, don't want to stay here
Don't want to spend another day here
Oh ho ho, I want to split now
I just can quit now, you've really got a hold on me
You really got a hold on me
You really got a hold on me
You really got a hold on me

Baby, I love you and all I want you to do
Is just hold me, please, hold me, squeeze, hold me, hold me

You really got a hold on me
You really got a hold on me
You really got a hold on me
You really got a hold on me

la.lluvia

if you feel lonely, and i feel lonely, whats the point?

i'm just saying.

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When I was a kid, I used to love dressing up for Halloween. I had a mermaid costume, and angel costume, a princess costume, a pirate costume...but my favorite one was my dinosaur costume. it was a full body suit, green, with little paws on the end. it had purple spots and "spikes" all the way down its back to its tail. it had a hood too. I had it when i was about 5 or 6. I used to love being a dinosaur. but then i outgrew the costume and it went to my cousin Matthew.

I wish I could wear my costume again. that would rock.

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I want to disappear. maybe I will. I dunno when. but I probably will. No people, no internet, no phone calls. maybe texting, but not frequent enough. and just sleep. maybe the pain will go away. 

la.lluvia

She's got you high and you don't even know yet
She's got you high and you don't even know yet
The sun's in the sky, its warming up your bare legs
You can't deny your looking for the sunset

She's got you high and you don't even know yet
She's got you high and you don't even know yet
It's the search for the time before it leaves without you
Have you lost your mind or has she taken all of yours too?
Whats this about? I figured love would shine through
We've lost romance this world has turned so see through
Open your mind, believe it's going to come to
Romance alive and hope she's going to tell you

She's got you high and you don't even know yet
She's got you high and you don't even know yet
The sun's in the sky, its warming up your bare legs
You can't deny your looking for the sunset

Whats this about? I figured love would shine through
We've lost romance this world has turned so see through
Open your mind, believe it's going to come to
Romance alive and hope she's going to tell you

She's got you high
She's got you high
She's got you high

She's got you high
She's got you high
She's got you high

Whats this about? I figured love would shine through
We've lost romance this world has turned so see through
Open your mind, believe it's going to come to
Romance alive and hope she's going to tell you

Whats this about? I figured love would shine through
We've lost romance this world has turned so see through
Open your mind, believe it's going to come to
Romance alive and hope

She's got you high!

-Mumm-Ra

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I need the soundtrack. please?

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I trying this new thing where I try not to invest too much into anything. the "Summer effect". well...it's not really a new thing. I'm going back to it. doesn't hurt as much.

Summer (on love): "you don't believe that do you?"

yeah, don't think I do. I don't know.

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she's got you high and you dont even know yet.

la.lluvia

Summer: You weren't wrong, Tom. You were just wrong about me.

- 500 Days of Summer